neurojunk 

cran explaining to me how lack of eye contact works for conveying that one is feeling bad emotions with me just sitting there like "what the *fuck*"

i can make eye contact. it feels weird and sometimes it's painful, but usually it's fine. this is how i convinced myself i wasn't autistic for a couple decades.

then hearing someone i trust explain that it has significance and people get information out of it is like. what. how

neurojunk 

more to the point, that people were asking things about me when i wasn't doing it, because in general i was perceived as a "normal" person

so like, people would be kinda concerned for me if i wasn't having an eye contact day

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re: neurojunk 

@astra Wow, yeah...that's a pretty uncomfortable revelation. I literally can't maintain eye contact, because then the face stops looking like a face after a few seconds, and that bugs the hell out of me. Also it feels overwhelming.

It's not that I am having a shit day, although dealing with NTs certainly increased the chances of that happening.

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