there. punished myself. i deserved it. i dont want to be a bad person.

when will i learn that i only annoy people. when will i learn that i dont deserve to share the same spaces as everybody else. when will i learn that i am not welcome. when will i learn to shut the fuck up. either i die or i stop being myself because who i am is not good. i'll always be a monster or a fuck up. i'll always be out of place. i should only speak when spoken to and only what everyone else wants to hear. i just want to make other people happy.

@Gumby Your inner persecutor is cruel to you. You deserve a place with us in our friend circles, you're a good person and we love you.

hugs

@FreyaManibrandr i really don't feel like i deserve the sympathy. im the one who fucked up. it's my fault

@Gumby Self-compassion is always important. We all are going to make mistakes sooner than ever. It's best that we acknowledge that it happens, that we're not necessarily bad people because of it, forgive ourselves and move forward, pledging to move on.

@FreyaManibrandr i cant move past unless i know the other person is ok. i dont care about myself. i care about those i hurt because i never set out to hurt, i dont ever mean to

@Gumby hugs But have you ever thought about the possibility that you're hurting yourself by persecuting yourself?