My magical work should really focus on containing my rage and directing it properly. I’m largely rage fueled and it’s helped me a lot but it leaks out when I have no good target for legit rage inducing things.
@Fuego Learning to focus and aim the fire has been the hardest lesson. I've spent twenty years trying to hold it and hide it, and all I've done is burn myself.
Learning to shape it has been hard, but it's a work in progress, but I'd like to think I'm getting better, even if I have to admit I've singed--and probably burned--a few people close to me in the process. I'm sorry about that; I truly am.
@orrery exactly >.<
@Fuego I hear that. I hear that very well, sister.
Often, there _are_ things I can point at, but they're... they're _bigger_ than me. I can't sustain a productive burn at things which are outside what I can address, but that doesn't stop the flames. So I just... burn. Or I look completely away from it and focus on what I _can_ address.
Sometimes I wish I were not bird, but am bird now, and would rather be bird than not. self-same, self-same.
#actuallyautistic