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So I answered my own questions;
1) my boss at this last place mistreated me, though not necessarily deliberately.
2) drawing satisfies 3 of 4things really important to me and gives a temporary sense of the fourth, so of course I'm motivated to do it! I've been justifying the outlay of time and effort to myself as "at some point I'll go f/t professional," but maybe I don't NEED to go pro nor justify it.
This brings me to the question of "do I actually want to go f/t pro?" which is complex.
