While cleaning I went from “1984’s ‘Amadeus’ ends with the cast singing ‘Amadeus, he’s a deus, she’s a deus too, wouldn’t you like to be a deus too?”

to “MANLY male pattern baldness is when you lose your hair but get a superfluous roll bar on your choice of black, gunmetal or MARPAT scalp.”

I can explain, but you get BOTH stupid jokes.

* someone of FA posts really beautiful furry art featuring a massive werewolf with a prominent erection leaning against a castle gate *

MOST FURRIES: whooooa, he's huge and hot
ME: Bring out GROND!

seriously, my brain's fuxx0red.

They Poked My Tummmmeeeeeee, a terrifying Pallas Cat story of abduction by aliens

inspired by listening to Sarah MacLachlan

Lots of horrible angry thoughts I want to pretend I don’t have, here’s a instead

again it would be pretty laughable that the soundtrack to 1994's The Shadow is "what if Batman were Don Michael Corleone and also met V'Ger" except that pretty much IS the plot of the movie.

THE WEED OF CRIME BEARS BITTER FRUIT uh but when the weed of crime gives you bitter fruit, make bitter-fruitaide

Remember, two pepperonis don’t make a pepperRIGHTy.

Eclair de Lune, that famous music inspired by pastry

Setting aside "Pride is about identifying openly as people they want shamed and dead" we still get "Pride is about someone OTHER than the worst people on earth having a big party for THEMSELVES on OUR dime," and it's been a bad year for the worst people on earth having THEIR big party on OUR dime.

Similar for Juneteenth, furry cons, etc. At some point imho this becomes something to celebrate because it's about someone OTHER than the tech bros, the fundies and the Nazis.

The subtle difference between “these people are understandably upset, but it’s still incredibly uncomfortable to be around” and “these are literally the worst people on earth and practically a different species” best expressed as “I want to get stoned beyond what Cheech Marin considers real stoned.”

youtu.be/9py-oPHf_0g

BADDER THAN BOWMAN!
STRONGER THAN ARMSTRONG!

NEVER AN ASTRONAUT LIKE THIS ONE!
HE'S GOT A PLAN TO STICK IT TO THE MAN!

* throws crescent kicks in slow motion *

putting the bratwursts on those little pointy tipped ear of corn things so you can eat them like corn on the cob

Remembering; I am coyote, and from the moment I opened blue eyes to stare unfocused at a world full of wonder to the day my last breath will rattle in my thin rib cage, everything I experience, everything and everyone I love, all this is lived within a world where others have decided I'm vermin, threat, never to be granted the security and value of what they prize. But that doesn't negate in any way the value of what and who I experience and love.

last night, the wizard council finally finds the crypt.

When YOU need an onager ballista or trebuchet in a hurry there’s just one place to go! That’s right BIG DAVE’S BIG USED SIEGE EQUIPMENT! You need pavises for crossbowmen, we got pavises! Don’t miss our hwacha special all this month! Y’all come on down to Big Dave’s Big Used Siege! Right off Buford Hwy in Doraville!

The name is actually misleading

You play the shoehorn by putting it in your mouth next to your teeth like a jaw harp

It still basically only makes one note

yep, some sort of weird anxiety spike so it was time for a Coyote Space Agency mission into low geosynchronous orbit for routine maintenance, if you know what I'm sayin'

* Blue Danube Waltz intensifies *

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