Earlier today, I was thinking that I shouldn’t really dismiss my hobbies or little hyperfixations, I spend/spent so much of my life on all these day job things which are ULTRA SUPER MATURE AND VITAL, so I can afford rent/gas/insurance/etc which is also DEADLY SERIOUS… or is it? With the exception of the food bank or medical office jobs a lot of it didn’t feel that much more important than my dumb little pictures, meals or books.
Lest we all think I feel nothing but pissed off, here’s last night’s #drawing. Wound up being a weird sledge, rather than a weird cart.
just this bad intersection of age stress ("the best years of my life are now long gone"), parent/job stress ("and all I have left is a long march until I die, there's no other future") and political stress ("and it literally can only get worse for the benefit of people I utterly hate").
Just a lot of my buttons being pushed about it being decided I don't get to have a life outside of someone else's convenience, like before I turned 18 and escaped from there.
It feels almost like everything that pisses me off is expertly crafted to piss me off these days somehow.
The whole "I keep de-fusing more and more of my life while the world gets bleaker and nastier, so I feel like I'm running at top speeds to stay in place;" I don't know how terrible I'd feel if all this happened when I was even 5 years younger.
#drawings worked on last night, since there’s more going on in my world than just a day job I don’t really like and the worst people running everything.
see the important distinction in early D&D art is that paintings by Larry Elmore, Jeff Easley, Brom etc could have titles like “Waiting for Shadamehr,” “Lifeless She Waited” or even “What Do You Mean We’re Lost” and all Errol Otus paintings could be captioned “Dude DUDE Does Anyone Else Wanna Get Tacos?”
Last night’s #drawing, which started out as trying to draw something sexy with cock showing, so I think I made a wrong turn somewhere.
uspol, coyote cooking
the bad news; I can't help hearing my housemate's left wing outrage podcast. Look, 1) my options to stop this administration are protest, or 2) write in to my reps and when there's a public comment option on federal agencies, and I've been doing the second. There's only so much good stress will do.
the good news; this carrot salad is *really good, better than the last (similar) carrot salad I made. Leftover pork set aside for banosh, later. This is at least 2 meals worth of green beans, it needs something - I'll get feta or something next time I can.
#drawing last night, I usually try to draw more women and I guess I really wanted to draw different facial hair.
hate how jobs kill empathy. I have a weekend or sometimes after work, I'm surrounded by all sorts of people living their lives - what're they thinking? Are they happy? What lies ahead for the kids?
I go into work and the road's full of fucking rich assholes, the customers are rich assholes someone has decided is officially better than me, and the coworkers I talk to through Slack or email, do they even have emotions and wants I can fathom?
It's like having ice form in my soul.
uspol, Catholicism, etc
I can't imagine why a Church full of Hispanics and at risk of being accurately perceived as an eager adjunct to American right winger power grabs would choose as a leader someone loudly opposed to abuse directed at Hispanics instead of playing to evangelical Protestants, can YOU?
Lots of random gunk, but some drawings and cooking talk too. Obsesses about DnD and related topics. Left-leaning/profoundly frustrated politics. Black lives matter; trans rights are human rights.
Occasionally NSFW art and discussion, please do follow if you're 18+.