Rain Dog @Leucrotta@awoo.space

in the 2 1/2 years that followed Mua'dib and the Fremen brought spice production on Arrakis to a standstill. Fearing for his life, the Beast Rabban kept this hidden from his uncle the Baron. Paul and Chani's love grew. The Reverend Mother Gaius Haile Meriam made some noviates break down in tears, which made her very happy. The Padishah Emperor Shaddam IV ate potatoes by having them fired by his elite Sardaukar terror troops through a wall of butter. The Baron ate a truly immense sandwich.

now they are ready to fight but in order to lead them I must conquer the worm, conquer Shai Hulud

Photo of me in fursuit head from back in January!

* Keanu voice *

Dude. You dude like they dude, dude.

Surely thou had little vigor
When the skillful Ilmarinen,
First of all the iron-workers,
Took thee from the blackened swampland
Took thee to his ancient dwelling,
Placed thee in the firey furnace!

ooh this place has rotating beers!

clearly beers rotating in space to the tune of “The Beautiful Blue Danube”

Oh no! If this John Barry soundtrack is to be believed, not only is Bond about to be cut in half by a very slow laser, but the entire uThulwana regiment is massing in the nearby hills, right by the black hole!

He’s Gump, he’s Gump, he’s Gump,
He’s kinda square,
He’s Gump, he’s Gump, he’s Gump,
What’s with that hair?

woke up thanks to nightmare or something, anyway anxious AF.

Okay so; Reign of Fire. Dragons are roused from their long slumber deep in the earth (the Brits delved too deep trying to make a new Tube station or w/e), reducing humanity to small pockets of grim survivors.

Not the dumbest movie I’ve watched, especially on the couch, with my friend, and drinking.

We meet a community in north England, former urbanites now farming in secret, ever fearful of the dark forms that soar above them. This is actually great stuff. AND THEN AMERICANS SHOW UP. And not just any Americans, they’re an elite heavily armed military team of dragonslayers led by a bald goateed badass, burning a LOT of fuel (the farmers’ resentment of this IS a plot point) to take down th’ enemy and get claw trophies HOOAH.

Sometime after the movie’s radically changed course I’m buzzed, and start talking over the Americans only, because let’s face it, all their dialogue is the same super macho bullshit. “Mah TRUCK! MAH TRUCK! MAH truck! GUNS!” Pretty soon my friend’s doing it too. “Mah TRUCK! AM RADIO. JESUS. TRUCK!”

Eventually two remaining Brits and the bald goatee badass travel to post apocalyptic London to kill the only male dragon, vital to the species reproduction and survival. After some urbex and pointless action sequences the hero succeeds and conveniently saves the UK and civilization.

Before the final pointless action sequence, bald goatee badass Sparta-launches himself off a ruin trying to embed a fire axe in the one male dragon’s head. This doesn’t work btw. Both of us overdub his last desperate cry of “TRUUUUUUUUUCK!”

End of story, thanks for putting up with it.

I was going to post a story about “Reign of Fire,” riffing off yesterday’s “what if when Americans showed up in a movie they got a little musical sting.” Now I realize I CANNOT remember the middle of that movie; either I was that drunk or it’s that forgettable, and I don’t think I was that drunk.

Ugh everything is more compelling than this inventory tracking project. Except this phone call I have to make during lunch break.

not only would it be inappropriate to respond to “O Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi” by yelling MONTJOIE ST DENIS! and mimicking slamming down your visor, at work, but it’s also completely anachronistic

Okay as long as we’re here, you want a hot Nirvana take?

“Smells Like Teen Spirit” is Kudt trying to write a Pixies song but comes so close, you can sing “I Bleed” to it. Whereas “About a Girl” is his attempt at a Beatles song, and he NAILS it without it being any existing particular Beatles; it should have been a bigger hit.

In my intellectually fuzzed state early this morning I go quickly from;

* wow I like this, it sounds familiar
* this is a great Goth cover of “Heart Shaped Box”
* this is the album version of “Heart Shaped Box,” I’d never realized how Goth it is

Seriously had the song been presented differently you’d have dudes in long coats and eyeliner grooving to it.

#subskeet most Tolkien scholars agree that Tom Bombadil is actually one of the Maiar; given the call outs about his boots, likely Tom of Finland.

Dude, new Bombino track!

https://youtu.be/tDWHvq5Y11Q?si=dBPihip_jB7XtnfI

Muppet Dune, in which Kyle McLachlan is the only human (Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam said so)

What’s the most American nonsense/fake vocals?