The same way Nova Seed is everything 10-year-old me would have wanted in a film, Chronicles of Riddick is completely what 16 year old me would’ve wanted. It does NOT HELP that the movie is basically something straight out of a week’s worth of detention (I spent a lot of high school in detention);
SPACE CATHEDRAL into planets they overrun with FANATICAL EXPLOSION KNIGHTS but also CREEPY UNDEAD with big diving helmets that give lik UV VISION like in The Predator and uh... there’s this badass braid knight guy who wields a HALBERD which is FIVE AXES and though he starts totally loyal to the KNIGHT GRANDMASTER who’s returned from the realm of death as a HALF WRAITH with preternaturally keen senses, but his HOT WIFE persuades him to be really ambitious like in this play they’re making us read.
And also the superwarrior has this DESTINY to slay the Grandmaster with this serrated badass knife that goes SHING!
Uh... here are like the concept drawings, I hope it’s cool they’re on lined paper.
So there’s this SUPER AWESOME bald badass dude with COOL CURVY KNIVES that go SHING! and he wears GOGGLES all the time cause he uh... uh... has SUPER BADASS BIOTECH EYES that make him a super warrior in TOTAL DARKNESS and uh he like goes to THE WORST PRISON IN THE GALAXY where sadistic guards release DRAGONCATS on the prisoners, cause he has to rescue this REALLY BADASS GIRL who conceals blades on herself and they pop out and go SHING! and they like fight SPACE CRUSADERS who spear their (cont)