Y’know if I were building a vampire empire I’d want to take over idk Prague, Vienna, Warsaw, Wroclaw or something. What’s in Wallachia other than sheep, stuffed cabbage and some nice architecture? #castlevania
Then Carmilla shows up and says something like;
Your mission is a failure
Your lifestyle too extreme
I’m your new commander,
You are now my prisoner,
We’ll return to Transylvania
Prepare for transit beam #castlevania
He’s a dhampir! Offspring of human and vampire, preternaturally capable of brooding and making his cloak swirl dramatically. #castlevania
Undead fox! Undead fox! NEW FURSONA! #castlevania
Oh great, let’s just diss the Brujah antitribu. And then he goes back to his favorite chair with a big dent from centuries of dramatic brooding. #castlevania
Isaac is Dracula’s brooding buddy. Like they meet up and hang out listening to Fields of the Nephilm and getting steadily more depressed. #castlevania
Wait so Captain Gothula over here thinks *Trevor* is an emotionally damaged child? The man who regularly uses Obfuscate on his own billowing cloak? Fuckit, @Earthshine is right this is an OTS, any moment now they’re just gonna buddy roadtrip to Kluj to get stuffed cabbage.
Wait, “an angry teenager in an adult’s body” is the default description of ANY vampire player character. #castlevania
@Earthshine; see, NOBODY likes Godbrand.
Me; the most likable thing he’s said in this series is hey, you guys wanna go get drinks, I think Denny’s is still open at this hour. #castlevania
Sheesh lady you just don’t talk like that to your ghoul who can stake you or open the blinds during the day! #castlevania
“I am the only person in thees series who hass an Eastern European accent.”
Also; if she’s pseudo-Romani, and therefore speaks a slightly messed up Indian language already, maybe what she says is Adamic - the language from the Garden of Eden - is actually a reconstructed proto Indo-European, through the filter of late medieval Christianized people and WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS CRAP WHEN I’M THE SOBER ONE ON THIS COUCH? #castlevania
“But sire, intruders are invading the castle.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore.” *clutches jar with rose*
“Kill the Beast!”🎵
Join me, and we shall rule the galaxy as depressed Goth and depressed Goth son! #castlevania
“You must be the Belmont. The end of your line.”
“My name is NEO!”
#castlevania
So in the end Dracula was a genocidal vicious sadist and a lousy father but he had multiple doctorates and could really make a cloak billow dramatically so we’re sad he’s gone ANYWAY, or something. #castlevania
When we first met, you smelled like piss, blood and stale beer. Now you smell like piss and blood. #castlevania
I shall return to my father’s favorite brooding spot, to brood as he would have wanted to. #castlevania
This is my d20 and my giant gears room, this is where I keep my biggest d20. #castlevania