I’d hoped for years working on my issues would grant me a better life, as I aged came to hope specifically that the more I got past my dismal childhood, the better I’d be dealing with just aging and ethnic stuff, stuff I’d have to work with no matter where I came from. I hadn’t expected the giant reasons for despair currently dumped in the world and, as someone raised to think everything sucked and would get worse, it’s a lot to hack.