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mh - abuse triggers, discussion of ideation etc
Trying to tell myself that I'm not walking right back into basically the job I had in 2017.
Really; the abuse I faced in that position was intense enough that I thought about killing myself multiple times a day at some points that year, my usual rate of smoking went from one cigarette every 1-2 weeks to days when I'd have five cigarettes, and some triggers got so deeply entrenched that I am debating turning down a job offer simply because I got REMINDED of them.
Even though a lot of things feel different about this one, and I am better able to cope, that hit hard enough in such a short period of time I'm still really shaken.
