*Cate Blanchett voice*
The world has changed. Much that once was, isn't. And much that is, wasn't.
It all began with the frying of vegetables of power. Crispy zucchini sticks for the Elves. Curly and waffle cut potatoes for the Dwarves, great lovers of starch. And beer battered mushrooms for Men, who above all else desire to dump ketchup on everything. But they were all of them deceived. In the land of Mordor, in the fryers of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged in secret an Onion Ring.