Mentions sexuality. Gender stuff.
It’s annoying that my recent realizations about my gender issues being hugely about childhood standards, not really about my gender, is *another* thing like “I have a penis and like touch there” “I hate my beard and body hair,” “I definitely like presenting/being referred to as female sometimes” which places me as some variety of trans, but *doesn’t* tell me if I should try HRT, etc to transition further. If that makes sense?
re: Mentions sexuality. Gender stuff.
@obscurestar Yeah, exactly in this case.
I was riffing off how I think a lot of transphobia is *literally* conservatism; trans folk are seen as dodging a kinda shitty game which we don't necessarily like, but which we all do because that's what we've always done (and if we're doing it, then clearly it has to be morally good and something we can't possibly challenge, right?). Real southern way of viewing the world, right?
So that got me thinking about how I was treated sort of as a girl (for being bad at sports, reading, etc) while simultaneously being required to be a boy (and stuff you could stereotype as boy stuff like climbing everything, cycling anywhere I could get to, actually being cranky, etc instead got dismissed) and having girlhood off limits (partly because girls are "supposed to be" pretty and even tempered and I was repeatedly told I was this ugly, out of control monster).
And I mean that's a huge realization, wherever I'm going gender wise that's pretty vital to have, but that doesn't tell me where I'm headed next, if that makes sense.
