Hormones, gender
I can deal with being rampantly horny all the time.
I can deal with being Aggressive and intense as a default setting.
I can even deal with the subtle psychological reinforcement as the Testosterone goes thru and urges me on.
The constant feeling of Muscle is what's getting to me. Like, I enjoy being Strong, but I can feel all my muscles lately and it makes me feel twice the size I really am.
And that's a weirdass feeling. Like I feel physically secure but for all the wrong reasons and TBH I was getting psychologically ready to be a lot more Femme.
And it's hard to feel femme when you're suffused with the feeling of being a biological Forklift.