Just because I want to get it out, here a thread on why I can't work.

Probably short, but can't make promises.

Also CW from here on

So a little bit of history on me.

I got these symptoms in school already. I don't know since when excactly, but I have memories from 3rd or 4th class (when I was 9-10)

Each time I get into a stress situation, my body revolts, badly.

Like intestine cramps, diarrhea and general nausea.

Those incidents where more random before (because I didn't know what caused it), but are still present to today.

Btw. those are also not the only symptoms.

Literally everything that means I can take a break fires.

Like, sickness symptoms, toothaches, stronger nausea, sudden fall in blood pressure (not measured, but feels a lot like it).

This also causes that I have to visit a doctor roughly every two weeks and can be pretty proud of myself if I manage one month without sick leave.

That also gets worse over time.

I can usually manage the first 2 months without sick leave.

Oh, I forgot, headaches can also be in the mix, of various strength and location.

To sum it up, mostly likely permanent burnout syndrome (I presume).

Anyway, that's not all.

I have gotten a lot of friends, but I literally /need/ them to survive.

I made it through the first year of callcenter without, the second one I couldn't and I just can't anymore.

But that is only half of it.

I also just can't concentrate on things.

So, not only do I need to know that my friends are still there, repeatedly, I also can't concentrate on work, most of the time.

Unless I have a personal incentive, that is more than some phony, one sided loyalty thing or money, I will be extremely slow and do most other things, but work.

I can't control that either. Thoughts just wander and I look things up.

I love to learn, but I have huge trouble to force myself to do something I don't really want to do.
Even if that means, that my survival is danger. I just can't force myself.

And that's why I can't work.

Not only do I have to call it sick more than any company would tolerate (as in being off 1/4 to 1/2 of the time of a month).

I am also pretty slow and spend company time not doing what the company pays me for.

That's why I can't hold a job for longer than a few months.