Dysphoria [Species], mild
I'm colored by the fact that I never imagined I'd say the words "species dysphoria" and have folks go "yeah same". I felt this stuff when I was pre-teen… even as far back as like… 10? Back then I knew enough to know I shouldn't tell folks, and I felt fundamentally broken. I kept beating myself up for entertaining the belief that I wasn't human, but somehow the idea was rooted deep in there.
Dysphoria [Species], mild
I got really good at hiding. So good that when a bout of my life hit that was unrelated traumatic and my pain was at its' highest, I repressed. Since 18, I hadn't even remembered I had those feelings until I found postfurry.
Point is that I know that my sheer excitement over something that makes others feel horrid is off-putting. Believe me, I get strong dysphoria too, but contextually… I'm honestly just really glad to be here.
So I do apologize if I ever seem odd
Dysphoria [Species], mild
I can't explain how even having a term for that pain helps, and is damn near magical to my past self that felt -completely- alone, broken, and out of their mind. I can't explain how good it feels to spill my heart and help others and start to let others realize their own nature.
It hurts, but…
Running until I forgot the very nature of my being…?
That was horrifying..