trans thoughts, history 

I've been going back through old chat logs for various reasons trying to refresh my memories about a few things. As far as I can figure out, around 2013 I really started expressing the beginnings of genderfeels, and by 2014 it was well underway. Then 2014... happened... and I fell back into my shell for the next couple of years.

I'm just about positive I would have had the realization about one to two years earlier without all the trauma that happened.

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trans thoughts, history, trauma 

I can remember crying myself to sleep one night in late 2014 because I'd "never have breasts" and chalking it up to the one of the stages of grief I was going through - an "if only I'd been different I could have kept him" kind of thing. Hard to pin down further because of all the damaged memories I have for that year. It was definitely tripped by someone's comment about their own transition desires, though.

trans thoughts, history 

Oh sweet jiminy christmas, I misread the year on that batch of files. I was showing clear and obvious signs (in retrospect) all the way back in 2011!!

How the fuck did it take me so long? o..O

@Soreth
"That's the way things come clear. All of a sudden. And then you realize how obvious they've been all along."

— Madeleine L'Engle, "The Arm of the Starfish" (1965)

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