What's a word for something that's kinda like a kink, in that it's deeply subconscious and gratifying, but not about sexuality or attraction? Like a deep, perhaps "taboo" desire, that isn't necessarily sexual in nature?

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My example 

My example goes back to childhood, when I first read Animorphs and thought "it would be really interesting to be controlled by a yerk, and just observe someone else control my body. See what they do with it."

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