sybil voice
"why YES, this soft serve IS unusually delicious for the product of a national franchise, isn't it? I bet it's because it's made with extra love or something, and not because I've got a herd of horned-up, tranced-out girls in the back room jacked up on bovine TF juice and pumping out gallons of sweet, sweet pathogen-laced cream to hand out to gullible simpletons such as yourself. Did you want Oreo crumbles on this?"
@distressedegg ahahaha oh god, yes
bonus if all those businesses have names that just -scream- Totally Not An Evil Organization, Honest
@distressedegg @Thaminga The Country's Least Suspicious Yogurt
@Thaminga Plausible Deniability Ice Creamery