@IceWolf Yeah, f-list has a lot of problems, some of them dating back to the fields were designed by someone who didn't think very deeply about this. (And, in fairness, who was coding in Like 2005-ish? ... when everybody was vaguer and cruder about these things.)

I wouldn't get on f-list myself, but I have found people who explained themselves with stunning clarity on it, to the point reading their preferences was almost like getting cheat codes to make them blush more.

@Austin_Dern *nodnods*

the thing I'm running into, besides this problematic stuff, is that... I'm starting to think the whole idea of "boil everything down to a list of yeses and nos" might not work for me.

Because I've got major triggers around something that is quite liable to come up in the kind of kink I like. Only having one category for "no" removes all difference between "eh, no thanks, I'd rather not" and "NOPE NOPE NOOOOPE".

@IceWolf I think there's some icon you can put in front of your nopes to intensify them. I have seen people adding a ! or a !! to the front of their hardest no items, too.

@Austin_Dern Wait, how do you do that? *perks an ear*

@IceWolf I don't know. I'm looking at one friend's and it seems like the items starting with a ! or - or (on the Yes/Fave lists) + get a little spiral icon that emphasizes their importance, though.

@Austin_Dern Yeah, I think that's a "custom kink" they put in manually; I should probably do that myself.

@IceWolf May be worth it, if you find the site generally useful. You might also put something in your profile explaining that you have some extremely hard no's and people should be aware before that spoils a good scene.

@IceWolf It also might be worth not worrying about filling out too much of a profile. If you're just using this to chat with a select group of friends, well, they don't need to know these extra things. If you find it's a useful shorthand way to describe your character, you can add stuff later and it'll be all right.