woo; crisis of faith
@MagentaForge I wish I could offer helpful words, but all I've got is... your mind/spirit is resilient, and so is the fabric of reality. things will stretch a very (absurdly) far way before they'll truly break.
that said... it *can* break, under certain circumstances; and... there really isn't a nice/good way to say it, but what you've signed up for is a program of study that includes "breaking one's own reality" on the syllabus. it's not a flaw, it's a feature. :]