We like to think we think of memory as inviolate, but in reality we rely on forgetting. Time heals all wounds, you physically aren't who you were seven years ago, but what happens when you find that everything you are, and were, is still with you, somewhere, just under the surface, the right stimulus able to unearth ANY of it? I know I don't think of myself as the same person I was before college, but I have his memories. (1/4)
As in a space-time graph, there are points when I can look back and see the twisting roil of my path through the world, trace it back and pick up any point and KNOW it's all continuous, as much as the identity now is several singularities away from then. Nothing is lost; my triumph, my failure, my wisdom, my foolishness, my self now can see the one in the past... (2/4)
...but in the mindset that steps into the blood's memory, there is no judgement, there is only knowledge, the grand association of a life, or many, all adding to now. All I've ever been will me with me always, and it does make me what I am. And, more than that, it's a unique view on a portion of reality, and for that, it's priceless. (3/4)
I see that it could not be allowed to be not, and so it won't be. I will carry it with me as long as I can, winding my space-time graph to the end of the universe.
December 27, 2005, morning after one heck of an acid trip (4/4)
@Oneironott @forestservice Further background info of note; this came at the end of very complicated year that itself came after a very difficult year. And in the midst of... whatever trip it was... I found myself sitting in the middle of a very difficult memory I'd mostly forgotten, then back in perfect clarity (the specifics of which I've now forgotten again of course) and observing it with the equanimity I described in the quote there.
@forestservice @Oneironott The Shpongle album of note was really new then, and I'd been wrestling with what the title meant, myself; in the end, in the middle of the trip, my brain mashed it up with the very last words of the novel Blood Music, which START with "nothing is lost"... and the rest of which I won't repeat here because they need to have the proper weight afforded them earned by reading the rest of the book. ;)
@Oneironott @forestservice ...And so that's how I worked out what that meant. c.c;
It sure does figure that this would come up when I'm floating through another psychonautics day-after; seems like it goes back to what I was saying about certain points on the line more easily reaching back to other ones. :)
