But this is all happening because this behavior has been excused for far too long. It was unacceptable then, and it's unacceptable now. We can't diminish the hurt racism and bigotry causes, and we have to stop showing up for friends while remaining silent about what they do.
If you're more concerned about people being called out for their behavior than the behavior necessitating the callout, you might want to sit with that for a minute and really consider your priorities.
Your BIPoC and LGBQT friends see that pattern of behavior.