discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
theres like a million reasons this happens uh. im really worried that when i seek out relationships in the future im gonna get into bad ones even if i try not to
discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
like my concept of how a relationship involving me would work is that i need to be as sexually appealing and emotionally low maintenance as possible because normal people wouldnt be attracted to me otherwise
discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
especially not cis gay men. i probably need to make more trans friends irl. like being a gay guy has felt like a great thing for me but i also feel like kind of a pathetic imitator
discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
the only way i got any kind of positive attention at 13/14 was by acting out the role of. i dont know how to describe this. um. some kind of Dont Hurt Me Please useable dubcon fantasy
discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
ive erased like all archives of this so i dont think theres any direct evidence of this anyone besides kitlin has ever actually seen.
discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
the fact that i was ever "there" was really horrifying to me and i still feel like a worthless freak for "letting" people use me and being a sexual degenerate at 13
discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
i think the term i was looking for earlier was waifish. it was also very much performing being a Child, But She Fucks for adults which was extremely bad
discussion of sexual trauma / sexual violence directed at me
i know what i want better now but there are lots of frightening people who appear normal