@spiderrobotpig here's a real quick way to find a distinct list of instances you need to whitelist based on all the sites people are following:
1. sudo into the mastodon user
2. as the mastodon user, run "psql mastodon_production"
2. run this query:
select distinct followed.domain from accounts local
join follows
on local.id
join accounts followed
on follows.target_account_id = followed.id
where local.domain is null