pride + anxiety
i'm so happy i can make things i like, but i seem to be falling into the trap of not wanting to show others again in fear of imposing, aaaaaaaaa
i guess at least it's not major enough that i don't even want to post it though
anxiety
to top it off, these fears cause my seemingly-insular nature, because i feel like i don't belong since i'm not actually friends with almost everyone i am around
as a result, even the things i make that i'm genuinely happy about get at most a few seconds of attention, and then lost to time
but making nice things is the only way i know how to get the attention of others so i can maybe make a friend or two
anxiety (+)
anyway, this was the year i was going to tackle my anxiety!
it's time to force myself to get over it once, so it will be easier the times after that!
i kinda lost my momentum, but i can regain it!
anxiety
i literally have an empty discord room where i post things because my silly brain is not convinced that anyone who doesn't join would even really care
but i also want to write such unique bots for it that it might eventually attract others...somehow?
stopping to think about any of this stuff really shows how little sense it makes