(-) kinda morbid thought experiment
thinking about it, i can't think of many people who would actually care if i disappeared one day--and most of the ones who would are only because i have some obligation to them
i really gotta change that! that's not at all the kind of impression i want to have
hmm, i think this means i need to get more involved with things--and with people!
(but how? hmm)
shame
i think what i really need is to figure out how to keep my motivation up
i half-make so many things that i could have finished several projects by now
i need to get Something™ out there, because i feel ashamed as a creator to not have anything to show for all of the effort i put into things
perhaps the secret to my motivation is in healthier habits?
better bedtime, better nutrition, an actual routine..?
however, i don't like the lack of freedom it sounds like this would probably have
i mean, i've tried a strict regiment before, and it burned me out *so* hardcore after sticking with it for over 500 days
hmm, maybe i need other tricks. but what..?