@TrollDecker@social.diskseven.com apparently the original version would, for some terrible reason, require significant porting to work on windows. i found some instructions on compiling it for cygwin but fuck cygwin
i guess i could make my own but i can't find any documentation on how to use any of the fortune databases i've found
YEAH APPARENTLY THIS DOESN'T JUST GRAB A RANDOM LINE FROM A PLAINTEXT FILE AND PRINT IT. I DON'T KNOW WHY.