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ooh gettin some real good wanna die vibes today

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basically being who i wanna be is an impossibility because my mind and body are way too fucked up to ever be able to get there ✨

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today i am going to:
* smoke weed
* feel terrible
* maybe make soup once the supermarket delivery gets here
* continue feeling terrible
* continue smoking weed

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sometimes people take me making stupid jokes as a good sign; but i think they don't realize it's a form of self hate designed to make my issues seem less important and less deserving of attention (which is what i usually believe about most of my issues)

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