wolfe but sad @wolfgang@awoo.space

being depressed feels like constantly being in pain, but without any physical pain

*insert keysmash here, because i'm on mobile and predictive typing will just try to make it into words if i do it*

right now, if i could choose my presentation magically and with no effort and no social repercussions, i'd probably go for "religious construction worker by day, carmen sandiego impersonator by night"

i would like to take off the costume now please 🙃

(ok so after checking the comments on genius (of course) and rereading the lyrics, it's probably not actually about driving in traffic, but about a crash

but still, an important realization for me to have, and most likely an association that i'm expected to have for that line as a listener, regardless of any concrete events being described)

hey i managed to find that program (the english original; i never published my translation lol) on an ancient website dedicated to showcasing little applets for my favorite window manager of all time :3

https://www.dockapps.net/wmitime

me: *signs up for a website using the username "wolfe"*

confirmation email, 20 seconds later: "Hello wolfe!"

me: "hey they even use the name i like! ​ "

i remember wanting to do more (though i don't remember what exactly), and being frustrated that despite knowing some C, the code was still completely unintelligible to me

core memory unlocked: at age 9 or so (!!) i translated a linux date applet into hebrew by replacing the bitmap font with hand/mouse drawn hebrew letters

then going into the code and replacing the month names with the garbled strings of latin letters that corresponded to where i put the hebrew letters inside the font sprite

me as an autistic kid: we should reform society to use decimal clocks and calendars

me as an autistic adult: we should reform society to use dozenal numbers everywhere instead of just clocks and calendars

one of them would make a great name for a mastodon instance for non-furry non-vent stuff 🙃 but i still don't know if i want to take that pain in the sensitive place upon myself

anyway it's 4:46 am now already and i have these shiny new domains that make me laugh

buying domains at 4:30 am is definitely a thing i won't regret right?

it was always really weird to me how in Hebrew Mode my speech parts could combine any set of consonants together every which way, but then whenever i'd go Fake American, i'd be limited to what english allows + maybe a couple extra consonant clusters for *some* names

at wolfgayng at eh-woo dawt space

pronouncing the word awoo the way republicans from the south pronounce the word arab

i continue to have no idea if i'm actually sick or if this is just what 20°C (68°F) feels like to me now

at this point it feels like i should have a file on my desktop called "steps necessary to reinstall postgres next time it breaks.txt"

oh of course! i updated my os, so now postgresql broke even though it's the exact same version

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