ironically enough my best eating habits, best digestive system behavior, and best body image, were all back when i would weigh everything i ate and meticulously kept track in a calorie counting app

it's popular these days on the left to say that calorie counting causes eating disorders or whatever, but i think my adhd/autism/whatever really benefitted from having that rigid self-imposed structure, and i had enough motivation to do all that because i firmly believed it'd help me get a better looking and better functioning body

(as for better functioning: when i was really strict with my choices i could actually calm most of my crohn's/ibs symptoms most days! but that was a very, VERY difficult assortment of foods to stick to)

i should probably re-integrate the daily tracking aspects to give myself that structure to distract myself from suicidal thoughts and force me to view the bigger picture of exercise, physiotherapy, and the concept of eating things that aren't 60% sugar

maybe like a sheet of graph paper with columns for types of physiotherapy things and rows for days, so i could mark lots of tiny check marks?