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i think i need emotional support of some kind, but it's so rare for me to have experienced it at any point in my life that i just literally don't know how to get that
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from family i got mostly "ugh come on you're already X years old you should be acting better than this"
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previous exes mostly didn't understand that i even needed any kind of support and i didn't know how to communicate it
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friends have different responses to my... crises let's call them:
- floating away and disappearing
- ignoring the crisis and offering distractions
- making sure i eat and don't kill myself
- getting angry at me for being depressed
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4 is the absolute worst way to deal with me in any situation
1 is preferable to 4, and a great way for me to know not to bother with contacting that person anymore
2 requires energy from me that i don't always have
3 is well intentioned and probably more helpful than not, but it's also not quite What I Need
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people who have ever given me emotional support that felt supportive and not destructive:
- my toxic ex pre-nuclear-breakup
- that's it. that's the list