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i am irreparably broken in so many ways

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no one in their right mind should ever want to be in any kind of relationship with me really and i'm tired of witnessing person after person grow sick of things i can't change only to inevitably free themselves of the burden that is me

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i'm genuinely relieved (and happy for others?? not sure i'm capable of that) every time someone decides i'm not worth it and goes off to live a life that's so much better thanks to not having me in it

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i'm not really capable of feeling happy/sad for others, but i've suffered negative consequences for not pretending, so i pretend every time

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i am, however, capable of feeling extremely guilty for mildly inconveniencing, hurting, and/or disappointing other people!

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i'm insufferable when i unmask, and i'm starting to get why my toxic ex did what he did 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

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