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nonverbal, autism?, question with no definite answer probably 

i still haven't figured out if by not speaking i am unmasking, or just adding another layer of masking to the existing pile

re: nonverbal, autism?, question with no definite answer probably 

it might be: unmasking. because:: by speaking when i don't want to, i am Hollywood Acting to make myself hopefully seem more neurotypical

it might be: masking. because:: i am trying to appease People Around Me, who i by default (due to years of conditioning) always assume don't want to hear any of what i have to say

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