Doing better, except for a monumental sense of poignant sadness I just can't shake.

Been thinking about my stepbrother-- no new news, and at least things are going as well as they possibly can under the circumstances, looks like they really nailed the brain mass.

Been thinking about Seattle, too. It's gonna take me years and years to sort out exactly what happened here. It's gonna take decades to convince myself I achieved anything positive-- besides at least not *permanently* fucking things up with Peggy when we broke up in 201X.

And I got to meet some cool people I wouldn't have gotten to met otherwise. And I learned never, ever, ever to try to create a subculture ever again, especially if it's mostly so I can get my weird kink buttons frobbed. :)

I'm coming to feel increasingly like this is basically me disappearing into another universe for good. Fortunately, it's one I can still send letters from, but... yeah, I ain't comin' back to this world, "this" meaning either Seattle or postfurry. Not as a resident, certainly.

It's okay. I'm okay. I think I'm okay. Poignance is a native emotion, one I'm used to and can handle well. It's just... well... damn it all, you know?

Love ya lots. I probably won't be gone-gone, but... yeah. I don't even recognize 2011 me anymore. I sure as hell don't know what's left that I can offer any of you.