mh (--), kinstuff i guess
Still really strung out tonight. I feel like I'm trapped somewhere between two aspects of myself that make me feel really ashamed and uncomfortable—to put it in Goddamn Furry terms, the Tigress Jerk and the Fretful Clingy Little Jackalope.
I love the little jackalope. He's a good little bunnybuck. But he's so childlike and fragile I feel like he's a burden to everyone I know, especially a Semi-Reformed Spike Queen like Peg.
She wonders sometimes why I put up with the Transliminal folks for so long, and that's kinda why I guess. They were terrible to the Tigress Jerk, even when the Tigress Jerk was doing her god damnedest to be a good kitty and not knock stuff over by accident, nor eat anyone who didn't seem to be volunteering to be eaten. But they were some of the only people I've ever met who knew how to be kind to the jackalope. Them and... yeah. Another person who ran screaming from me, although they loped away far more politely, gently, and comprehensibly.
I dunno. Don't get me wrong. I fucked a lot of things up. The Jackalope is cute at first, but after the tenth time they've knocked on your door crying or giggling at 4 am, they're probably a lot less cute. And the Tigress is, well, a jerk. She can be a magnificent, funny, fuzzy jerk and a powerful friend, but even at her best she's kind of... loud.
There are other parts of me, that are probably a lot better company for someone who seems to really just want to be Left Alone And Art Or Something... but they're the two in charge today, and living in a shotgun house, I don't really have a good place to hide them.
Plus, I gotta work. The Lynx doesn't have time to babysit these two. Once again, I guess I just act like the shittiest Headfriend Parent on earth and put their needs off for another day, in the name of... getting by.