Been mooning about today, about the past and the state of the world and my lack of a social life down here and whatnot.

And then it dawned on me: every single solitary time in my life that I've felt like I was totally screwed, there was a solution waiting for me that I just didn't notice.

When I first started college, I was so lonely I was actively suicidal for a month. My mom made me promise I'd start going out and doing things... and I met my eventual fraternity brothers and my eventual first girlfriend at the very first gaming night I attended.

When I had washed out of my job in Seattle, was dealing with the worst of my chronic fatigue, and was being kicked out by a borderline psychologically abusive roommate, I felt like it was the end and had set 1/1/2000 as my suicide date. And then, while I was in Ohio trying to recuperate over an extra-long Christmas vacation, I met Rik.

When I got kicked out of Transliminal because my patience with Kristy had finally run out, it never even *dawned* on me that Peg would be willing to take me in, because we'd decided years before not to pursue living together. And I was terrified that moving in would be the end of us. But it was one of the highlights of my adult life.

So... what the hell makes self-pitying little me think this is gonna be any different?

Oh, right, Internet, country, postfurry (or at least my relationship with it?), libido, and self-esteem are all a total burnout shitshow. :) But still. All I gotta do is actually go out there and make a few Charisma rolls. Probably with a cute dragon lady leaning on my shoulder. Piece of cake, right?