Remembered a bit of my dream last night. I was given the opportunity to go back in time and completely unwind one of my relationships from ever happening. My brain apparently couldn't keep track of which one, but it seemed to think it was either Rik or one of my college girlfriends.

The climactic scene was of me deliberately fucking up a moment where I was accidentally funny and charming for once. I just kinda... let myself default to my own worst habits and fate did the rest.

I expected that once the deed was done, the timestream would snap me back to a new, less complicated and painful present. And the dream ended with me just sitting there in shock, on a city bus, realizing that wasn't going to happen. I had to live all those years out, and the loneliness that was going to come with them, in real time.