it's the absolute worst when you have a pleasant dream about getting something you wanted and then wake up and remember the window to attain it passed a while ago.
@hystericempress This is why I'm glad I finally stopped dreaming about Seattle. So yeah, been there. *hug*
(mandatory length cut)
@hystericempress Ouch. *hugs tight* I've got some similar feels about my grandma. Mom forbade me from ever telling her straight-out, despite some real strong signs from her that she would've been just fine with it and already suspected. And her mind went, followed soon after by her body, before I ever got the chance.
I have a suspicion, given what I've heard about your grandpa and what a guy he was, that he might have sussed out your gender issues long before you did. But it sounds like he had quite a mind and it IS a goddamn shame you never got to have that conversation with him, because it sounds like it would have been utterly fascinating and life-long memorable. I'm so sorry, sis, it really ISN'T, fair. *squeeze*
@zebratron2084 this time I dreamed about having a conversation about gender with my grandpa!
...and the instant I woke up, I remembered 'he was born in the 1930s and there's a reason I didn't talk about it with him when he was alive, and I definitely can't do it now that he's dead.'