I killeded a roach. 🐯

It was one of the huge ones they call "palmetto bugs" around here. I freaked out about their presence in our apartment at first, but the research I've done leads me to believe they're not nearly as aggro about breeding and swarming as smaller northern species, so I've mostly gotten chill about seeing an occasional one.

When I first saw the little bugger, I even offered it a chance to scurry back into the crevices and disappear. I was ready to let it off with a warming, but first it ran out between my feet from under the couch... and then after my first attempt to whack it, it sought refuge in my FUCKING SLIPPERS.

That was a bridge too far and I was forced to get Martian on its ass. I ended up bellowing something about defying the Empress of Mars as I smashed it for the seventh or eighth time and unceremoniously dumped it in the trash.

Her Martian Highness is gracious and lavish in her mercies, but do not test Her patience. And you just stay the fuck out of Her footwear.