cats, anxiety (mild -), mention of hypothetical pet harm
Now that the excitement of life going back to "normal" after Zeta has worn off, my brain is starting to remember just how fucked up "normal" is.
Honestly, it's gonna be real educational having kittens around to care for, but just having one adult cat to fret over has been a HUGE constant anxiety trigger.
I really wish my brain would internalize the concept of THE CATS ARE PROBABLY FINE. But it hasn't really internalized it about me, Peggy, or anybody else.
And I can't help thinking about the incredibly high odds that over the years one will get sick in a way we can't help with, or run out into the street in front of a car, or just... disappear like Penumbra did (hopefully to a better life).
We have SO MUCH LEFT TO DO and there's really very little anyone can do to help. We have a decent amount of money left from the donations, so that's not a big issue, but the logistics of getting everybody fixed, let alone vaccinated and everything else we COULD do for them, is screwing me up bigtime.
I'm really starting to think the best solution might just be to get Artie and Peebles housed -- preferably together, preferably nearby -- as soon as possible. And PRAY that Shadow doesn't get pregnant before we can shave all the yaks necessary to clear the way for a safe, comfortable surgery. *sigh*
re: cats, anxiety (mild -), mention of hypothetical pet harm
@Austin_Dern I mean, it is pretty rewarding when Sugarfoot comes looking to knead up against me. I'm not sure I ever *did* believe that cats couldn't feel gratitude, but now I know they do for sure.
And the kittens are adorable even if this is gonna be tough. It's just the constant ambiguity. If we don't get just the right litter, will the kittens eat it and die? Do we treat them like "our cats" and give them the full shebang, or do we treat them like porch cats and just do the basics?
If it's cold at night, do I leave the gas heat on unattended? Do I lay a blanket on them and hope it doesn't smother the kittens? Do I just have faith in their fur? And then am I being cruel to the outdoor cats for not letting them in when it's chilly?
Did we do enough? Is there something I never even thought of that's gonna cause a tragedy? What the fuck do we do if we ever want to MOVE?
It's just... a commitment I would not have chosen if it had not chosen us, but what the hell else do you do when a friend in need comes to you with no other alternative?
re: cats, anxiety (mild -), mention of hypothetical pet harm
@zebratron2084 Understand and empathize with every step of this, and every bit of uncertainty in this.
And you have it right, ultimately. Sometimes someone needs you enough that it has to change your life.
cats, anxiety (mild -), mention of hypothetical pet harm
@zebratron2084 I'm sorry for all this anxiety descending on you. But it does sound like you're handling it all well, and covering all the responsibilities well, and I hope you can feel some joy in that.