analyzing my brain divots w/morbid fascination 

Current vicious cycle: I'm not allowed to initiate contact with most of my friends because I only contact my friends when I'm upset and I'm being a colossal narcissistic drain who only uses them.

However, I was also not allowed to initiate contact with my friends during times I was happy, because if they really wanted to do something with me, they would have contacted me first.

Yeah, it's really no wonder my emotions blew out under faint pressure.

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analyzing my brain divots w/morbid fascination 

(but i did poke people and did have several nice chats and do feel a lot better n.n <3 )

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