Krissy @BigFatFae@awoo.space

I hate work so much. One of my jobs is accounts payable. Except I don't actually write checks. I just get invoices approved and sent off to the person who does. But then I'm still required to give vendors updates on their checks, that I don't write. And the person who writes them doesn't give me updates.

It is so damn stressful and makes me feel like I'm constantly behind.

Current fantasy... Being a tremendous fat kid. My only responsibilities being listening to mom telling me what she wants me to do next, waddling from place to place and eating what she tells me, hearing her sigh at my difficulty doing basic tasks but patiently smile and kiss me for trying so hard.

The hardest part about this is the little.... misdirection that needs to happen in my subconscious to get around it. If I truly bring it on myself, then the illusion is broken. If I beg for it, or ask for it, then my subconscious doesn't process it the same way. Instead, I start to feel like I'm imposing and being greedy for my needs. So I need the kinkstuff to be forced on me, to some extent, ICly.

Because really, it's all about being inconvenient but also loved and accepted despite it. Partly as metaphor for accepting my flaws... but also for just... accepting my eccentricities. The things that make me unique but not strictly bad. Exploring what makes me tick, and it not always being straightforward or easy, and not only something that I can be loved despite, but something I can be loved FOR. Because that part of me isn't going to change.

If I'm in a particularly vulnerable mood and trust my partner a lot (and I mean a LOT) I can enjoy 'humliation' play like this. Being mocked, treated cruelly, etc. But most of the time, I'd just like subtle stuff... Like... sighing as I get stuck, tapping foot and staring at me if I ask for food before giving any to me, wobbling my tummy without asking, etc. All surrounded by smiles and hugs and cuddles.

Barely mobile is one of my favorite states to explore. Being large enough that belly rests on ground, hips are wider than double doors, can't even reach past lovehandles... All while still being able to just barely walk. Having the freedom to go to any place in the house, but still needing to call out for help to DO anything.

So... if I'm understanding how locking works.... if you're locked, you approve followers, but you can still have public toots that anyone can see?

It's such a small thing, but seeing people appreciate my posts is very heartening. Thank you all <3

Also it's just nice to be able to say this far more complete thought over the space of 3 toots than trying to cram it into 9 bite sized tweets. This isn't really relevant to the above, just sorta a nice bonus, lol

To that end, this is why I think moving towards things like Mastadon and Discord is such a good thing, we find moderated spaces that match our ideals and needs. If we must, we create our own.

I administer multiple discord servers (though only one of them is all that big), because each one is explicitly about making different types of people feel safe. It's important to recognize and respect that safety. If it isn't compatible with your own, it's important to find your own platform.

Every safe space is tuned for specific people. Some people's safety is explicitly unsafe for others. That doesn't mean your safety, desires, or needs are inherently bad, but it DOES mean you need to consider your audience and platform.

Me getting huge is a focal point in that it can't be absent from a scene. If it is, I just.. can't enjoy it. But if that is happening, then just watching my partner slip into depravity over their desire to cause that becomes one of my most powerful buttons.

One of the most important elements to my kink fantasies is someone giving me the impression that they are not only enjoying it, but reveling in it. To that end, one of my favorite scenarios for roleplay is one where the 'dom' in a scene is giving way to some form of corruption, becoming more intense and lust driven. Double points for physical changes and magical powers coming with this corruption.

I am attempting to learn Japanese through duolingo. I don't expect this to be a quick process. But it's been something I've wanted to do since high school. I've got the hiragana down at least