transitioning, dysphoria, happiness, self-realization
I don't know if there is an end point to transitioning. But I feel like I have reached a point where I don't feel the disgust I used to feel constantly with my body. I don't feel like I'm forever trapped in something that isn't me.
transitioning, dysphoria, happiness, self-realization
Obviously, it's not possible to get all of the physical changes I want. Those small things like the characteristics of my face, the /just not right/. Those, "but if I had been born a cis woman, my hands would look /right/", that stuff, the technicalities, not possible.
transitioning, dysphoria, happiness, self-realization
And, this is just talking about gender. It's not even getting into the other things about my body that cause me immense pain. It's not getting into chronic pain issues or fatigue or the fact I can never have a physical tail in my lifetime. It isn't even touching any of that.
transitioning, dysphoria, happiness, self-realization
But, I'm happy. For the first time in a while I can, look at myself in the mirror and I can feel. I made this. This is good enough. I made this happen. This is me. This is a me that is acceptable to me.
transitioning, dysphoria, happiness, self-realization
A me I like living in and as.
transitioning, dysphoria, happiness, self-realization
Me.
transitioning, dysphoria, happiness, self-realization
And the way I present myself, and the things that make me, and all that other stuff. It feels acceptable. It feels okay. I feel like I have control of my body, for once. It feels like me. A me that I have made. A me that I can live with. A me I'm, okay with. Happy with.