Catwoman69y2k @Catwoman69y2k@awoo.space

It's just past 8:30 a.m. and I'm already done with people.... with trying to communicate things.... with trying to get through to anyone... or trying to convince anyone that their actions could go beyond their bubble.

Ugh... writing about myself is so hard but I need to get my profiles unblanked. First sentence is still hanging me up. Got a case of the " Hi"s and " my name is ___"

People like to do these Unpopular Opinion statements, but I dont really understand the point of it. Just say what you wanna say. No need to sell your words short.

Tonight, I have one of Those Opinions but Im good in choosing to just.... not. You guys....enjoy yourselves

Having a #SoFurrySunday, finally catching up on art submissions:
https://www.sofurry.com/view/1337792
https://www.sofurry.com/view/1337791

Link to all my works: https://www.sofurry.com/browse/folder/photos?by=712&folder=32126

Re: VANILLAWORKGIG
Last week, I tried to address a problem early because I knew it would block me from getting that site's work done. This problem needed to be forwarded to the Wordpress tech guy. Even though I know how to do these things, I do not have the access or authority/rank in this company to perform it. So my work just sits there undone. Didnt matter that I communicated, and that I did so in advance.

Seriously. This cycle needed to be broken like....7 months ago.

That mostly goes to the void. Judging from some stuff in my peer group, maybe they would just assume Im "virtue signaling". So yeah... the voice that tells me "no one cares" or "no one wants to hear that" is esp strong.

There is good reason why communicating has become a huge waste of time.

Re: Technical support stuff
No one reads. I could put together detailed info about my problem, but from their response I can tell they didnt read it because they ask me to do the same things I showed them

Re: Opinions and thoughts
I talk myself out of talking about things on my mind, even trying to express something bothering me (for the sake of venting and then finding a solution).

Getting a bit of pull back on progress. Plus..the opportunities of 2 weeks ago have changed. Indecisiveness and the " Need component B and C to get A, but also need item G and T to get item B...." is forever the catch 22 that sometimes leaves me having to be indecisive too.

Some of the things I want to tell people.. its always a matter of surrendering to free will. Im one small voice in a sea of people.

It occurs to me that part of the surrender I must practice is being patient for Third Party Syndrome to kick in.

(2/2)
....and of course the always present....

c) the things I seem to gravitate to (passion) are not things that will pay the bills.

So, what do I do now? Still dont know. I just know there is no such thing as Burnout Unemployment Insurance... Im gonna have to fight my grey matter really quick.

I found that the more I was trying to address/not ignore my burnout... the more anxious I have become because I know its a matter of finding passion to rekindle the flame inside me so that I can function again.

Challenges:
a) Not alot Im passionate about these days. Its a fleeting thing
b) Im on an island as far as the communication/collab stream (even with my involvement in furry and my local furry community). Lots of dead air
(1/2)

Little happy moments: even though I don't fit the premise of the party girl of the local scene, sometimes my efforts to bring event and Community info together results in watching these little moments where awesome events and community gestures grow. #socalfurrylife

Doing a small gig for a company that knows the power of accessibility. Image tagging all day, for all you screen reader programs out there.

I have pretty much taken the old laptop out of service. We'll have to figure out what to do with that unneeded computer.

Check out the cleaned up workspace! (my desktop is much more appropro this time around)

Finished moving into "my new house". Computer finally pulled a slide from the furry section of my art stash. Background by Ratchet: http://www.furaffinty.net/user/furryratchet

One thing I completely forgot (that I was going to have to go through), is that the next computer uodate means finding the solution for MakerBot Desktop to run on my new system. Preparing myself for the poosibilty of a likely inevitability. Will be a more convuluted, but independance oriented solution.

Stratasys is kind of fail to deal with, let alone with supporting Linux.

I can look past differences of opinion in many cases. I like that my fandom and peer exp isnt in an ech chamber of "yes" people.

That being said... engaging in fetish or sex oriented spaces has been one sided (me not engaging). Yeah... that detachment thing has gone here too. With some of the issues cropping up in the last few months (incl a few which are related to stuff going down in politics), I feel a bigger gap between my views and the general methods of discourse

I feel like there's a part of my early early quiet self that slid back into place.  Its beyond being "just okay with it". Like, I know this one community base project will flop if I can't get outside input or involvement.... and yet, I know my compulsion to persist (in achieving something related to my effort) is pretty much nil. I never was attached to gaining best outcome in something, but my detachment thing looks closer to apathy at this point.

So, I've always had a lack of expectation on life. I know there's value in detaching yourself from things because, you can get caught spinning your wheels when you try to fight against things for the sake of getting your way.

However, I still feel like I've somehow kicked this very thing up 25+ notches over these 3+ years.  I've definitely grown exceptionally detached when I seek input or involvement in something outside of my head.

Rats. Tried for another freelance board but got the stock rejection letter. They only look for the top 1% so that explains to me that I had a pretty slim chance at making it.

Back to the basics and hopefully Ill get a bite on one of the services/sites I already use.