doephin @Doephin@awoo.space

I swear this hold system is designed to make you hang up. Interrupted every 16 seconds (yes I timed it) with "we're sorry please hold on"

A jay scremed a few times, then flew over to the gutter of the house.

A few minutes later after I *didn't* move to give peanuts, they flew back, landed on the gutter again then stuck their head down to stare at me through the window.

"Hello is drive through open?"

Mage who's life work is to design a spell such that you can only be disabled in *one* way. Whatever goes wrong after the first problem just heals immediately.

The mage before him exploded trying to make a spell to prevent lasting injury, so he figures this might be safer?

appointment five weeks out. This is Baby's first cancer, it's probably fine, but I still want to reach out and choke all the people who made cracks about the US system having such a shorter wait time for stuff :P

annnd slept through an appointment. damnit

"We will call you to schedule" is seriously the worst way to do it, clinics.

Cleric of Whatever

Drone TF except they're just making you a drone to use you as a bot in a factory game

The boundaries of zip codes are public. So stand in just the right spot lean just so and you can honestly say

"My tits are so big they're in a different zip code than the rest of me"

Mom's gonna lose her shit though. This killed one of her brothers.

Though that case was a very, very weird one which probably ended up in a medical journal.

So they didn't put it into the system to avoid freaking me out, calling instead.

A. Hi my body, my data
B. this caused phone tag which was INFINITELY MORE STRESSFUL than the result could possibly have been

Yes even if it was melanoma! Which it is! I just get cheese gratered of doom surgery on it, it's *fine*, this is horror movie rules medical office- not knowing is always worse.

I know everyone is overworked but waiting for almost a week and still not hearing anything is annoying.

I would like to know if that biopsy was skin cancer or not plz :/

Achievement unlocked: mountain is out from the left

Portland streets are weird. Center bike lanes! Roads that look like dedicated tramlines but aren't!

current commission idea..

Someone has just been turned into a pooltoy, and is being held by a friend who's holding their valve open to deflate the new toy!

Not for storage, though. Turns out freshly TF'd pooltoy air is infectious, as friend #2 who's standing in the airstream is finding out

"Do not AWwooo; fine being turned into a cat"

*cat awoos*

damnit bob!

There's something especially hilarious about a Rimworld colonist having a tantrum and hiding in their room...because they're a raider we haven't conquered anyone recently

"if I can't conquer them I'm going to go conquer...my BED."

(also yes, asking FA to make sense or have a sensible UI or code that's not fucked is unpossible :D)

Thing I want right now: Sites and apps to learn what block should mean- that they can't see or interact with you AND VICE VERSA (except to see your profile to block you too)

This post brought to you by that one guy on FA who insists he's totes not an alt right but spends 99% of his journals shitting on Disney for daring to have woman leads, linking to alt-right Youtubers, and saying things like "guess you kicked out the orange man, but did you think of the consequences?!" on Jan 25th 2021.

Because a social media site banned someone.

I really need to get a script to just auto-whiteout his posts so I'm not tempted to mock him in any journal post I see his stuff in.