An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [1/?]
Okay you sagacious motherfuckers, guess what time it is.
An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [2/?]
NIcol Bolas: Does not know what sex is.
No, I'm serious. His entire cosmic plot is centered around him achieving even greater heights of knowledge and power so that he can find out what sex is. He's found the right answer several times now but in his hubris refused to believe that it was correct.
So in a way, he has deluded himself into not knowing what sex is.
An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [3/?]
Ashiok: Absolutely knows what sex is, but refuses to participate. Incredibly ace. Also writes extensive and highly detailed erotic horror novels.
Ral Zarek: Thinks sex is the Nevan cutscene from DMC3 He's not entirely wrong. Other people make jokes about how he's lightning in bed but he just thinks they're talking aobut literal lightning.
An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [4/?]
Tamiyo: Knows about sex in the same way one knows how a frog works after dissecting it. She'll stimulate all the important parts and go through all the motions but she also has the dispassionate speech of a tenured professor going through their fifth divorce while doing it. Will describe what she's doing in uncomfortable detail and recommend a dermatologist's appointment afterwards if she spots any moles.
An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [5/?]
Karn: Knows what sex is, but doesn't really understand it. Talks about how building new machines is so much more efficient for creating offspring than the organic methods. If you say people do it for fun he'll get confused and upset.
Kasmina: Knows what sex is, exclusively chases after people aged 20-25. Demands to roleplay teacher/student as well. Does not understand that sex can happen in other contexts.
An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [6/?]
Domri: Due to heavily enforced age of consent rules on Ravnica it is literally illegal for Domri to know what sex is yet. Dovin Baan has taken extensive measures to make sure that the topic never comes up to him as well.
Teyo: Heard about sex once, didn't like the sound of it. Doesn't understand why Kasmina keeps shooting him hungry eyes at the bar every night.
An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [7/?]
Jaya: Knows what sex is, what she likes, what she doesn't, and can talk all day about awkward encounters she's had. Nowadays she has her fun mostly in making wildly inappropriate jokes to embarrass everyone else.
Tibalt: Will not stop talking about BDSM. Has yet to learn about genitalia and how they're used for sex. Hangs out with Ashiok a bunch to talk about kink as an art form.
re: An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [7/?]
@fluxom_alt I am kind of curious as to who all these characters are, are they yours?
re: An Analysis of Every Planeswalker in WAR and Whether or Not They Know What Sex Is [7/?]
@Felthry They're characters from the upcoming Magic the Gathering expansion, War of the Spark