you ever just remember an embarrassing thing from like eight years ago and feel awful?

context, because i think it might help to have people see it? maybe that will be reassuring? 

like seven or eight years ago we won a raffle a composer was doing for a custom composition, but we misunderstood what the thing was for and asked for an arrangement of a piece we liked because we wanted to have sheet music to try to play it ourselves

it feels like we really squandered that opportunity and also insulted the musician by implying their original work wasn't worth anything or something

and they even went and made a recording of it too, meaning they had other musicians playing the different parts

re: context, because i think it might help to have people see it? maybe that will be reassuring? 

we still can't really listen to that piece without being reminded of the whole thing which is a shame because it's a really good piece of music

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responses to this would be appreciated, if anyone has reassuring words

i'd like to get away from at least this unimportant thing that our brain has decided to assign undue importance to

@Felthry I do know, and feel it more often than I'd like.

It's a common intrusive thought, I believe, because we know the embarrassing thing could have been avoided. That if we'd put the sort of care and attention into this that we like to think we do everything else, it wouldn't have happened. We're thinking of our potential when we relive such a moment.

If these thoughts serve any good purpose, they train us to rehearse how to be gracious and aware and mindful in future circumstances.

@Austin_Dern @Felthry *nods*

I remember we read somewhere that part of what makes intrusive thoughts hard to dismiss is that the people who experience them generally care quite a lot

it sounds like it's really important to you to show respect to the skill and creativity of musicians and composers - so much so that you feel guilty about something which sounds like a harmless misunderstanding to me

I feel like, in that situation, I would try to remind myself that I care, that I remember, and that I know what to do now so I don't err that way again

- 🦊

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