open the cheese caves
stop letting them be closed
you think this is a shitpost, but I am serious
there is enough cheese in the cheese caves to give everyone in america a pound of cheese a day
for four years
yes this is a shitload of cheese to be given on a daily basis for everyone except Cheeze Charlie, the cheese equivalent of Spiders Georg, who like his counterpart is an outlier and should not be counted.
this is why it shouldn't be distributed like that
but it should still be distributed! think of how much fucking cheese is in those caves if *even giving a ridiculous amount away daily* wouldn't empty them for an entire presidential term! it'd only last longer at a slower rate of distribution!
@Felthry Short version: The US government has been buying surplus milk from farmers for decades, and as milk is not terribly stable long-term it's made into cheese. The government also buys cheese, for both price stabilization and food program reasons. This cheese is then stored away for distribution into a multitude of government programs, and yet there is still a *massive* surplus - to the tune of 1.4 billion-with-a-🅱️ pounds of various cheeses. At one point, it was stored in a cave in Missouri.
*Technically,* it's not completely owned by the government anymore, instead it's been split among multiple private companies for cold storage.