@Silverwing I keep thinking of you because the term r_a*i_a keeps showing up in the derivation I'm working on :P https://awoo.space/media/8jmxvjFl50qc-_RgZd8 https://awoo.space/media/cDYHM6iQ1zGvMsJW398 https://awoo.space/media/HAcdilLODFN9x20rADU
@Silverwing now that I'm looking at it again, I notice that a couple times it shows up alongside e_a(t). Is this thing telling me to eat you? I don't think I want to do that!
@Silverwing anyway it's good to see you again! It's been a while.
I don't get to see you often so I guess I just feel like I should say hi and stuff when I can, even if I am horribly awkward and have no idea what I am doing!
@Felthry it is good to see you again too :) V is generally terrible at handing me the reigns sometimes.
@Silverwing Well, ve'll get better at it, I hope. Wish I had advice, but... Eh, memories of when I was multiple are kind of fragmented and I don't know if I could piece together anything useful for you. Probably not without getting into an unpleasant mental space, even if I could.
Sometimes I wish I had someone to hand the reins to, but... ech. It's not for me, I think. I especially wouldn't want someone to end up being "the person who fronts when there's bad stuff happening", that'd be unfair.
@Felthry *nods* yeah, it is, but i am sure ve will get better. And yes, i would not want you to go to such a stressful mindspace.
@Silverwing
There's a bit of a nagging feeling that I'd be able to.... semi-split?? Rosemary back into existence, though I think Xolroc is pretty fully integrated into me
I don't know. Just thinking, I guess. I do kind of miss them, but.... There are quite a few unpleasant memories tied up with being multiple and I don't know if I'll ever work through them. But I wonder. I keep telling myself it's not for me, but I wonder sometimes if it is.
@Silverwing as a not-very-spiritual person I think there would probably always be a bit of nagging cognitive dissonance saying that I'm just one person imagining it, there was before. And then there's the whole thing where the group who introduced me to the idea, my only friends at the time, had to suddenly leave with no warning and no explanation. those wounds are healing ,but....
I get the feeling this is a question I'm going to keep coming back to, and never really have an answer to
@Silverwing ugh, sorry to unload all this on you. Just been kinda in not the best position lately, mh-wise
@Felthry ahhhhhh *swish* wonderful :) 💙