I was thinking to myself "maybe it was just a brief phase of being excited and I don't really want to be more girly" and then I started dancing and being cute while listening to music and was like NO DAMN YOU OF COURSE I WANNA BE CUTE DUH

I mean I am leaning into the femininity more than it feels like my urges call for, and while I know that's partly because I just damn well want to right now, I'm not totally sure of the whole reason.

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Would be nice if I had somewhere I could just go be a girl for a bit. Like a female friend I'm comfortable with who'd take care of me and girl me out for a day or something. I dunno.

I don't though, so I just have to grow out my hair and learn how to style it.

aahh! I keep remembering my hair is a mousey blonde and not a luscious beautiful fluffy brown like I adore... I should figure out some ways to style this nicely I guess. Don't want to dye my hair yet, for several reasons.

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