visual glitching, hallucination
we observed our shadow "glitch" briefly yesterday. that turned out to be a trauma trigger, a spectacular one, and we're still sorting out what lies behind that. it is reminiscent of Emiya Shirou (to whom we have an intermittent but enduring bond) seeing Matou's Sakura shadow "glitch" in the second "Heaven's Feel" film... and that isn't so good a feeling to have. but also we think there's trauma coming in from our host's brother's experiences of hallucination.
dissociation, on entering a liminal state
ever since 2016 we have been preoccupied with the question of how to enter what we now recognize as a state of heightened awareness and possibility, a _liminal_ state, by relatively predictable and gentle means. it's taken us a long time even to nail down *approximately* that this was a distinct state, one that is clearly different from the routine human experience of reality, but also one that has a sense of *degree*.
the old-fashioned expression "the lifting of the veil" is not inaccurate. the threshold between orthocosmic experience and the liminal state is practically imperceptible. yet once that indefinite border is crossed, the state can be deepened and strengthened.
and it would seem that there is a strong link between slipping into the liminal state, and dissociation from a trauma or shock. simply being _intoxicated_ isn't enough. one must then "break through". and pain, either fresh pain or old pain remembered, seems to be an inescapable part of this whole experience.
re: dissociation, on entering a liminal state
@mx_frisk_dreamer When the world inflicts trauma on us, the mask that was put on us to preoccupy us with this illusion we call life starts to crack.
